A stroll down memory lane... [Archive] - Forums

Zuzu's Garden

01-13-2009, 06:47 AM

A lot of the new posts at CL are spam. :mad:

I posted briefly at Southern Living about 4 years ago. I didn't last there because some of the posts were anything but polite (at that time - it may be different now). Anyway, someone posted Dr. Phil's Personality Test and a lot of us took it and shared the scores. What was interesting was that the scores were in the same range.

So, perhaps people with a certain personality feel comfortable posting on a forum, whereas others prefer to lurk because they feel more comfortable.

If you all are interested in trying it out, I found a copy of the test here:

http://psychcentral.com/personquiz.htm

I scored 51 - "The Natural Leader".

Zu

Zuzu's Garden

01-13-2009, 07:17 AM

Hey! No fair taking the test and not posting your score!

A better title for me would be something like "Person Who Edits Posts A Lot for Mispelled Misspeled Misspelled Words".
:p
Zu

memmey

01-13-2009, 01:41 PM

I'm sidetracking this thread........Zu is your littlehouse warm and cozy? Do you get a good night sleep there? I had to move my bed till I got it just right and then nitey nite. How is living in the little house going?

Gigi

01-13-2009, 03:49 PM

Yes Zuzu! I'd also love to hear about your home~ warm, fuzzy, can you sleep good??? Oh I know the view is beautiful there--I'd be up at the crack of dawn not to miss a thing...

Lisa S

01-13-2009, 04:48 PM

I got a 39 on the test ~ Loyal Friend.

RoseMary

01-13-2009, 05:42 PM

I scored 38~Loyal friend.

Evelyn

01-13-2009, 05:57 PM

I'm a 37 and like Lisa, The Loyal Friend....

SusiesQs

01-14-2009, 04:55 PM

Ahaha...I got a 39--"The Loyal Friend" How funny is that? :rolleyes:

memmey

01-14-2009, 07:25 PM

36 ??? Loyal friend.

Zuzu's Garden

01-15-2009, 04:30 AM

Uh-huh!!! Z scientific hypothezez seems to be proving true. CL and C&B have many, many "Loyal Friend" posters, which explainz z fact that birds of a feather flock together (with z occazional odd duck Natural Leader who misspells a lot of words who thinks z just might fit in).

Zuzu's Garden

01-15-2009, 04:36 AM

Oooo, and I'll tell ya all about sleeping in the tiny house in the Tiny House thread!

:D
Zu

RoseMary

01-15-2009, 05:09 AM

All these loyal friends~and our natural leader:D--that's why this group is so special!!! I go to other forums and I'm really disgusted at the way some of those people talk to each other. It's sad to see such mean spirited people as there are on some of them. It's like their goal is to make someone else feel bad about themselves or their life:mad:

Thank you all for being so sweet and such Loyal Friends:).

Zuzu's Garden

01-15-2009, 05:21 AM

The whole Natural Leader thingy is too funny. Me? I was very shy growing up, and then when my son asked me to please, please, please be the Cub Scout Den Leader, I couldn't say no. Me teaching ten 9-year-old boys how to use power tools. :eek: I think that caused me to sleep in a different position and dream about stepping in and saving the day - and score 51 on the test.
:p
Zu

Oh, and I'm editing this post to also say thanks to all you sweet, loyal friends who have befriended the odd duck!!!

RoseMary

01-15-2009, 05:27 AM

You fit in perfectly, Zu:D. All of us Loyal Friends need someone to lead us in the right direction, ya know:p

Lisa S

01-15-2009, 06:27 AM

Zu ~ I've just got one question... left or right?

We all fit together perfectly. Always have.

Zuzu's Garden

01-15-2009, 06:36 AM

Well, Lisa, when I'm in bed, I'm on the right side.
Zu

Lisa S

01-15-2009, 06:43 AM

I meant which way should I go? I need direction!;)

Zuzu's Garden

01-15-2009, 06:48 AM

Ha-haaa.

If you want to go in the right direction, Lisa, then go right.
:p
Zu

ThriftShopRomantic

01-15-2009, 07:01 AM

WannaBHomemaker

01-15-2009, 07:58 AM

well the first time I did the quiz it was 45 - "Lively Center of Attention" and I said "huh? I am not!" and did it again and then it was 39 - "Loyal Friend" - whew! that was close!

RoseMary

01-15-2009, 06:35 PM

Rose Mary- I know what you mean about how on other forums it seems people go out of their way to try to hurt each other.

On Facebook, where I have a page, I was actually laughing because there's some facility there that left me a message that "one person wants to meet you and three people think you're stupid."

I haven't heard that kind of thing since sixth grade! :) Zowie!

What do you think, folks-- is this Me-centricism that seems to be increasing among the generations getting to the point where people no longer have empathy for each other?

If so, it's very scary to think what down the road it will be like.

Thanks to you all for being your nice selves!! It makes me appreciate it all the more.

It does seem to be getting worse. You know, I really don't like blaming women in general for things, but don't these people have mothers? What did they teach them? I think about that whenever I go into public restrooms and see what a mess they are. Who raised these girls/women?

And you're right, Jenn, it's like no one 'grows up' anymore~:confused: Everyone is still in sixth grade. If things don't change soon, the future is very scary:eek:

Lisa S

01-15-2009, 07:11 PM

I think our country is experiencing two extremes in parenting.

On one end, we have parents who buy, buy, buy their kids everything. My son asked me if we planned to buy him a car when he turns 16. I told him that I would never be so cruel. In buying him a car, I would take away a huge opportunity for him to want something and work hard to get it. He would appreciate a gift car for a week or two. He would feel the pride of his work and accomplishment for the rest of his life.

On the other extreme, we have parents who are drug addicted and provide nothing to their kids. Our new 4th child comes from this extreme. He's a remarkably good kid with great goals, but he's never been taught how to work. My biggest gift to him ~ after food, shelter and love ~ is teaching him how to work.

Yes, I think we really need to worry about the generations to come. Kids watch horrible things on the big screen and t.v., they are held to much lower educational standards, they have parents who are afraid to be tough... For every family raising good kids, there are 10 who aren't. Even people with the best of intentions don't seem to be doing a good job.

Why don't we all move to the same small town. And then build a great big moat!!!

RoseMary

01-15-2009, 07:40 PM

Lisa, you and your husband are being such great parents to your kids and your new fourth one! I see so many families just falling apart these days and my heart hurts for them, but they don't want to make their kids learn how to function in society. They are literally held captive by their kids. All their own fault, of course.

It really does seem they just buy, buy for them~mostly to keep them out of their hair and in return the kids have no respect for them.

And yes, the drug addict parents are the other extreme. I see so many of these families where I live (mostly alcohol and meth)--the kids don't know how to behave, look like they are wearing what they slept in (and probably are), haven't bathed in days, etc. The parents are just worried about where their next fix is coming from and the kids are left to raise themselves. Sadly, most don't want anyone trying to help them.

How big should we make the moat??

ChapterTwo

01-16-2009, 01:33 AM

What do you think, folks-- is this Me-centricism that seems to be increasing among the generations getting to the point where people no longer have empathy for each other?

.

I couldn't agree more, Jenn! Sometimes I will read the comments below articles on AOL and I cannot believe how people talk to total strangers! It's as if they have a whole bunch of hostility and so they direct it to people they don't know, figuring there will be no ramifications in doing that.

Sometimes I think about how my childhood was - very sheltered and protected - where I dreamed happy dreams and believed in the magical things in fairy tales, and Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy - and DID for quite a long time! Now, with all of the "nasty Santa" movies, and such a harsh environment everywhere, it must be extremely difficult to shield children from the harsh realities of the world. Little ones grow up too fast, from what I'm seeing.

At any rate, when you see adults being so childish and rude to each other, I shudder to think about what their kids are like.

On a lighter note, I took that Personality Test that was mentioned early on this thread and I'm a 37...Loyal Friend! ;)

chyna

01-16-2009, 07:57 AM

I think that the school system is messed up and this No Child Left Behind idea was really not thought thru. All I really hear from my dd's teachers is we have to be at this level and the world will just spin off it's axis if the kid isn't performong to some level. A fellow parent and coworker and I were talking about this the other day and it blows our minds how much is attempted to be crammed into these kids minds and all before they are even tweens! I know that I didn't have to know all this stuff before I was in second grade and I turned out pretty well. matter of fact I think my higher learning was because my little boondocks school did things a bit different. First grade our teacher read to us the Little House series and me and my friends would go out at recess (yes recess!) and recreate the Little House on Plum Creek. We used our imaginations, can you believe that? Kids using their imaginations at school. I don't see that happening at all now for my child and I doubt they do a quiet time with the lights turned down and the kids are laying on their little pieces of carpet listening to a teacher reading from a book. Nope it is all math speed tests, spelling tests, maybe some info on some other culture (suppose there would be some imagination there, if they're allowed to even digest what they've heard or seen).

makes you just wish you could scoop up your kid and head for the mountains. Get the internet and you're set. I feel awful for my dd that she will be very unlikely to get that joy of learning just because of the stress of performing to some other countries standards. I've said it before and I'll say it again, do you really want to set your goal to a country that has brought you Godzilla, Yugio, anime and really bizarre game shows? Lizzie wants to be a ninja because of that world's best ninja show.:rolleyes:

Also blows my mind how naive some parents are. The Lizzie down the alley from us walks around the block unsupervised, her parents have no idea where she is half the time and just don't seem to think it is a big deal. She is 6 for heavens sake! They even have her walking home alone, it may not be far for an adult or even an older child but for a little kid alone. Forget it!!

LindaLK

01-16-2009, 08:44 AM

Hello Everyone, :)

Like many of you, I am seeing monsters instead of children being raised. Too many parents are not supervising their children.

Our son has a friend up the road from us, and I had walked over to talk to his mom about some things that her son has not returned. She said ``Oh, let me see if he is home.`` She yelled up the stairs for him. Then proceeded to go up to find him. She came down, and told me she didn`t know where he was! He is 11 for goodness sakes. How do you not know where your child is? I know where mine are every waking moment.

Children are becoming more aggressive. Crimes and murders are on the rise, and are being committed by children. They are becoming less respectful. They are becoming offensive. They only seem to care about themselves.

I had to speak to a group of teens in a restaurant about their foul mouths and bad behavior in front of my kids. They got smart with me, and I put them in their place.

This is becoming a society of latch key kids, and parents not being responsible. If they hoot and holler enough, they have learned they will get what they were hooting and hollering about. Not my kids. If you want it, earn it! If you are disrespectful in any way, there will be consequences for your actions. There are no consequences for their actions now~a~days. My children were raised with manners. What is that????

My ex~SIL gives our niece a hundred dollar minimum each time she takes her to a store!!! Can you believe that??? No wonder she is a brat.

I censor all movies my kids watch. My kids are enrolled in sports and music. You need to keep them active. You also need to be there for them, and you need to talk with them.

So far, I have two that are grown with out a bit of trouble from either of them. No drugs, no drinking, no smoking, no getting into trouble. They both are self supporting and have good jobs. I have two more to go. So far I think we have done a great job. Not to say that they never tested my husband and I. They did. That is normal for kids to do that. This is another problem. Single parent homes. Or, who`s your daddy?

On another group I belong to. I told everyone that I hope Santa was good to them. A man posted, stating that I live in fantasy land, and was appalled that I lie to my children about Santa!!! He also made a snide remark that I probably told them that there is an Easter Bunny and the Tooth Faerie. Yes sir I did! What is wrong with a little white lie, and giving your children an imagination? I guess I am a bad parent, along with the other millions that also do these traditions.

Have a great day.

Hugs,
Linda :)

ThriftShopRomantic

01-16-2009, 09:02 AM

I think Linda really hit on it when she touched on the concept of responsibility. No one wants to take responsibility for their actions-- how they conduct themselves, how their children conduct themselves-- and to think about how that affects others.

Here in the city, I see so many folks walking through the grocery store on their cell phone, not paying attention to anyone else or the fact that they're blocking the path-- they're involved in their own worlds, and heck with everything else.

I see the same thing online, where it's whatever a person's individual desires or opinions are-- that's what matters. The being "right," winning the argument or shutting someone else down.

There's no discussion, really, just a lot of cries for attention-- like they're seeing Reality an extension of Reality Television and life's become one big ol' audition.

Scary!! :)

Lisa S

01-16-2009, 09:10 AM

It's a crazy world out there. You make a good point in that we need to step up and say something to other people's children when they misbehave. I would want someone to step in if my children were rotten when I'm not around.

There are so many ways to raise kids... I guess because every child and family is different. I think what Americans need to focus on is having their own core values and then integrate them with the values of society. Each of us needs to find our own map of ethics ~ then we can teach and follow it. We can't let the T.V. or celebrities be our moral/ethical barometer. And if parents aren't proactive in the teaching of their children, something or someone else will step in. And it ain't always good.

chyna

01-16-2009, 12:59 PM

I think one of the reasons that little girl down the alley likes coming to my house is that we are there with our dd. We don't just take advantage of someone else and run off to Walmart whenever they can and for hours. I never know if they are home when we take the kid back (yes one of us always walks her home or walks over with my dd to ask if she can play). It just blows our minds that they just assume that someone else will be watching. The kid invited (or tried) herself on our Disney vacation! And she believes it too. :eek::confused:

Her little brother is already known in the neighborhood as a little hellion and he's not even 3 yet. He bites, kicks, punches, pokes with sticks and generally won't stay in his own yard. I'm not as concerned about the kid's inability to keep his clothes on, that in my eyes is just a phase kids go thru. Would be nice if the parents wer aware that the kid is showing off his underwear once in awhile though. :rolleyes: I really don't even like my dd to go over there because I doubt highly they have any idea what anyone is doing or why. the hellion ripped my Lizzie's dress right in front of his mom and she said not a word! I didn't let the little snot get away with it and told him to stop it and physically had to block him and again his mom just stood there like a lump of dough.

I know we're supposed to say that only the youths of today have no manners but I'll tell you what there are a lot of the older generation who seem to have forgot their manners too. That is the part that really blows my mind. :(

cheapdiva

01-17-2009, 09:12 AM

Okay, this will get some of you going! But since I was a single mother ( 4 kids) for a lot of years - let's be a little easy on moms and ask "where are their dads"? I have 2 kids from first marriage and 2 from the second. My two older kids had a very involved father and we worked hard to make raising the kids together a priority. They are in their 30's and doing well. My two younger sons (23 & 25) have a dad who was not involved even prior to our getting divorced (which was just one of many reasons to divorce him).

My 25 year old had many issues including drugs and alcohol. He was in and out of treatment centers and programs all through high school. He did one semester of regular high school and the rest through D&A programs. We were fortunate that I could find these programs and there was private funding to pay for them. He had terrific counselors who worked with the family. His father never attended any of the counseling sessions - EVER! Never called (he moved out of state within a few years of our divorce - after he divorced his 3rd wife - currently on # 5 or 6, no one is sure) or asked how our son was doing. My younger son has also had problems.

Both of them are wonderful young men who would do anything for you. But they have had their share of problems. I worked full time, went to school to further my education and give my kids a role model, took care of homework and field trips and everything that needed doing. Dinner was on the table every night at 5:30 and rules were to be followed. We went out for pizza every Tuesday and to the library. Television was not a babysitter.

I tell you this not to sound like a martyr . . . I made my share of mistakes. But I am tired of people always asking "where was the mother" when so many of us have/had to raise kids on our own. I have raised 3 sons to understand it is THEIR responsibility to parent their children as much as the children's mother's responsibility. (None are married or parents yet, though oldest son is getting married next summer.) And my daughter found a wonderful man who is a dynamite husband and father. It makes her angry when people tell her how "lucky" she is that he is such a good parent. Her response is "It's his job - they're his kids too!"

Lisa S

01-17-2009, 10:13 AM

..."There are so many ways to raise kids... I guess because every child and family is different. I think what Americans need to focus on is having their own core values and then integrate them with the values of society. Each of us needs to find our own map of ethics ~ then we can teach and follow it..."

Maria... you did this. You had dinner on the table for family time, you participated in homework and field trips, you took care of your children when they needed help. My father used to say ~ This first thing you need to do to succeed is to give a damn.

A major component to surviving motherhood is to understand free will. Sometimes you can provide everything kids need and they still make bad decisions. I think they usually come around. I think every mother's worry is that they come around before they do irreparable damage.

Work, worry, love and guilt. I'm going to get a tattoo.

Breezy

01-17-2009, 11:33 AM

cheapdiva ~ God bless you ~ you've truly had a rough road.
In a perfect world both the father and mother would teach their children with a firm but loving hand. With one out of every two marriages ending in divorce we know that isn't going to happen. So we do the best we can and the rest is up to the children to remember what they have been taught.
I too get tired of parents being blamed for everything - once a child reaches a certain age it is the child's responsibility to behave correctly. Parents cannot be watch dogs 24/7 and at some point we have to trust our children to follow the guides we've provided. In the end it is totally up to them.
There are wonderful people who came from less than idyllic homes and those who have come from wonderful families but chose to take the wrong path.
We as parents can only do our best and hope and pray that our children listened.

RoseMary

01-17-2009, 11:48 AM

I agree that parents cannot be blamed for everything. It would be tough to be a single mom and I admire the way that they manage their families. It sounds like you did a great job, Maria! And yes, dads have a responsibility, too. But, in general, it is a mom that teaches the children manners and how to behave in public.

I was thinking more of the very young children that I see~with their parents and the way they react to them. No discipline is a type of child abuse and it seems to be very prevalent today. People don't seem to be aware that they are harming their kids by not teaching them how to function in society.

Teenagers are a whole different ballgame. Sometimes they fall in with the wrong crowd and make decisions that we, as parents, don't want them to make. By that time, your influence is not what it was when they were little. My brother was in some trouble when he was a teenager~but not because he didn't know any better, it was just bad decisions that he chose to make. Now that he is older, he is a responsible person and regrets a lot of those choices. He admits that he felt guilty much of the time, knowing our parents wouldn't approve and that kept him from a lot of even worse decisions.

So many kids today, don't know anything about making the right choices and I wonder how they will fare as they approach their teenage years.

memmey

01-17-2009, 03:28 PM

Work, worry, love and guilt. I'm going to get a tattoo.

NOOOOO that is what Emil did and did and did and I have never quite gotten over it. I was raised that " nice" people didn't get a tattoo.
I cried and grieved for weeks and everytime I saw him I was so upset. One of my older ladies in the salon said ..SNAP out of it! Is it eternal? I said I guess not....so everytime I see him I try to not get so worried.
I spent his formative years trying to anticipate things for him, is he sleepy, is he cold, is he hungry, is he upset, is he sad......I wore myself out. I didn't have him till I was 33 and I HOVERED.
I have second guessed everything he has ever done and over- praised him for silly everyday things. I never required him to do anything. I begged him to keep his room clean. I did all of this is the big middle of a bad marriage. No back up when I did get upset, quite the contrary, my husband would get mad at me for getting on to him.
Now he is on his own, I had to give him up to God and trust that all the things I tried to teach him he will remember. I don't give him money, well maybe a five sometimes for gas. I have to let him walk his own road, it's not my road to travel. He knows I adore him and worry about him. We all call him Johnny Danger. He is a good human, kind to animals and very clever. He can fix anything, very mechanical BUT very very implusive.
MY son repelled off the 5 story parking garage downtown. No mountains here so you have to make do..*L*
You make no money selling outdoor equipment he needs to stay in college and get an education but right now life is so exciting for him and I say the same things over and over.
If my prayers are answered he will be just fine.
I love him.

ChapterTwo

01-17-2009, 04:17 PM

Haven't seen you in a while, so I was worrying about you, Memmey; glad to see your post.

One thing that you have to remember - You always did your very best as a mother, and gave it all you had to give. And it sounds to me like you were/are a wonderful mother!

I laughed when you said you "hovered" over your son. Nowadays, those are called "helicopter parents".

In a perfect world, you could spell out how your son should live his life and he would gratefully follow...after all, you have experience and you've heard/seen/read a lot in your lifetime. But unfortunately, children don't realize and appreciate the experience that their elders have, or the fact that they're just trying to spare the kids from problems/heartache. Sooooo, the "kids" have to learn the hard way sometimes.

Gigi

01-17-2009, 05:53 PM

Together my husband and myself have over 10 siblings....so there is LOTS of drama.... lots of tears, lots of praying, lots of fun, lots of family time....

I worry about the kids today--so grown up, too much tech stuff---they all have a phone to the ear--but are they really listening????

And too much pressure- but they have to keep up or they sink. I couldn't believe that my granddaughter in Kindergarten last year had to read and read well...she does-thank goodness.

I remember learning to read letters in 1st grade--dating myself-but I remember the pressure back then.

ChapterTwo

01-17-2009, 06:13 PM

I worry about the kids today--so grown up, too much tech stuff---they all have a phone to the ear--but are they really listening????

I share your concern, Gigi. I was saying that to a friend a few weeks ago. I feel that, when a baby is born, he/she has to hit the ground running...got to stay competitive and learn, learn, learn!

While I'm all for learning, I think that when children are tiny, so much of their learning should come in the context of "living"... counting potatoes to put in a pot, or spelling out words with those magnetic letters we stick on the fridge, instead of in competition with their classmates. I know I'm old-fashioned but...sometimes the old way really was a GOOD way!

Lisa S

01-17-2009, 06:39 PM

I think the old way is the best way too. I feel that I'm an outsider when I don't sign my kids up for every activity or class that comes down the pike. I think kids need down time with their families.

ChapterTwo

01-18-2009, 02:08 AM

Oh, Lisa...I agree with you 100%! I have never been an avid "joiner" and my kids weren't either. They both signed up for things early on (Little League for my son, dancing lessons for my daughter) but after a year or so, found that sort of thing wasn't for them. They'd rather be out riding their bikes with their friends, reading or playing games. When they were little, they used to take great pleasure in having a pretend "radio or TV station"...they would use the tape recorder (then the video recorder) and pretend they were journalists, interviewing different people, and making up funny little skits.

I fear a couple things for kids nowadays - They don't have "down time" with their families, as you said, they don't have time to just "be"...daydream, or have simple fun playing in their yards/homes, and worry that they aren't able to use their imagination to fill their time - they're so accustomed to having every moment spoken for!

It's hard enough for adults who have more things to do than hours to do them...I think it's a pity for children to not know the pleasure of free time, right from the start.

Lynzee

01-18-2009, 02:56 AM

They don't have "down time" with their families, as you said, they don't have time to just "be"...daydream, or have simple fun playing in their yards/homes, and worry that they aren't able to use their imagination to fill their time - they're so accustomed to having every moment spoken for!

I agree with this. Granted, it's been a very long time since my children were little and things have changed a great deal, but I am having a real issue with this right now and am not sure how to handle it.

The little one is in kindergarten this year. The bus picks her up at 6:15. In the afternoon, she rides the bus to daycare and is picked up at 4:00, so she is at daycare for approximately half an hour. By the time we get home, it's after 4:30. Remember, we live in the middle of nowhere. Because she has to get up so early, we can barely get through dinner, bath and a little play time before she's sound asleep. Now, on top of that, she is bringing homework home every night--pages of activities she needs to complete and return the next day. It's ridiculous! Yes, children need an education, but that's just a part of what I feel they need. Having time to be a little kid and play is another thing I believe they need. And even though one of us sits with her while she works on her papers, it just isn't the same as good old read a fun book, play a board game or card game, let's just talk time. :(

RoseMary

01-18-2009, 05:31 AM

I have noticed how much homework that my nieces and nephews have~unbelieveable! My poor SIL has three to do homework with every night. And they are all in elementary school! Her husband works late, so she is on her own with them.

I'm not sure what the problem is with education, these days. The no child left behind program requires is that children score according to their grade level. That wasn't a problem when I was in school--what changed? Do you think there are too many 'extra' things being taught? What are they doing all day in the class room?

I homeschooled both of mine K-12 and I bought all my material from a private school for each grade--bulk packet per grade. We had school approximately 4-5 hours per day and no homework until high school years. They both went off to college and had no problems with college courses. They always made the Dean's List. Both graduated.

I know that something in the school system needs to be changed. I'm not familiar enough with it to know exactly what that is, but buying more 'stuff' for schools just can't be the answer. Just my opinion:).

Lisa S

01-18-2009, 08:54 AM

I must admit that I'm very sheltered when it comes to public elementary schools. We were very lucky to get into a local charter school when my eldest son was starting kindergarten. The only homework that my kids have is to read a little every night and to sometimes work with a math kit that the school supplies. They have two major projects a year that take a lot of time. The kids ask themselves what they would like to learn more about. Then they research about their topic and create a unique product relating to it. In first grade, my daughter wanted to learn how to make dinner. She thought up a healthy menu and cooked it for the family. Her product was a cookbook filled with recipes from her classmates. During her presentation, she taught the kids how to make a (no bake and full of sugar) recipe from her book. They usually love their projects because they get to pick the topic.

Lynzee ~ I can't believe that your little one has to be away from home so many hours. She must be completely exhausted by the time she gets home! Would the teacher be receptive if you talked to her about opting out of the homework for kindergarten? I think games sound like a perfect alternative.

Chapter Two ~ Big believer in the down time. I asked my littlest son if he wanted to watch tv the other night and he said "no.... I don't really like tv.". My mom claims that my kids are too creative for tv. Honestly, that was one of the nicest compliments I've ever received.

Lynzee

01-19-2009, 04:17 AM

The way it was explained to us is that the state sets the requirements for what the children must know by the end of their kindergarten year if they are to advance to first grade. The homework is to ensure they meet the state standards, so there is no opting out. They just completed their mid-year testing this past Friday, and they will test again at the end of the school year.

Zuzu's Garden

01-19-2009, 04:53 AM

I don't think the problems with behavior that we are seeing in both adults and children is simply the fault of parents. What about genetics and birth order? My children are now in their mid-20s and early 30s, and they are pretty much the same people I knew when they were 3. Each one unique and very much their own person. If parents had that much control over their children, they'd grow up the same. I passed on to them everything that I thought was important and I love them dearly - IMO, that is the job of a parent.

Take a broader look at American society, and you'll find the reasons why people are so rude. It's all about them. Status and competition. When I run into someone like that, I feel sorry for them - they don't have a clue what is important in life.

Zu

Breezy

01-19-2009, 05:22 AM

Zu ~ amen & well said

memmey

01-19-2009, 05:41 AM

You know I agonize about my son. I want him to succeed and in todays world it means achieve achieve achieve but he loves the outdoors and is VERY bohemian . One side of me loves that about him and one side worries. The world usually breaks the free of heart.
Do you just let the free spirits go or do you have to remind them to try to conform a little to get ahead?

ThriftShopRomantic

01-19-2009, 06:04 AM

Zu- I'm right there with you on that. I see so much stemming from the need for these folks to feel they're carving out their bit of Control and Importance.

Lisa S

01-19-2009, 06:28 AM

Interesting... I was just watching a show on the History channel about Pride being the worst of the seven deadly sins. They talked about two kinds pride ~ one that helps society get ahead as a whole and the other in which people are selfish.

I see people becoming rude when they try to accomplish too much. There are only so many hours in a day.

RoseMary

01-19-2009, 07:57 AM

I think the best example was on Black Friday at that Wal Mart in NY. I still think about that poor man and his family, but I also think about the people that, literally, killed him. Instead of being horrified at what had happened, they were refusing to leave the store because they wanted to shop. I still feel wonder that so many were so heartless. If there had been one or two that were refusing to leave the store, well, I would think typical, but apparently a lot of them just didn't care.

I still think that a lot of parents, decent people if you know them, are not teaching their children to think of anyone but themselves, because that is exactly what they are doing. And their children are watching.

chyna

01-19-2009, 08:14 AM

My doomsday prediction is that all these little kids who were pressured and stressed out in kindergarten and 1st grade are going to just implode when they hit college. It is just too much and I frankly don't see what good it really does. I seem to remember homework in preschool too, we refused to participate. It is preschool, the only things they should be learning is how to play nice with each other and how to drink milk out of a little carton. Not every color under the sun (which they had to learn in kindergarten, what is wrong with primary colors?!!!!), how to count to 100 (which they had to have a good start on in kindergarten) and all the alphabet. Seems ot me that every generation is expected to know more and more before they even reach 1st grade.

My little first grader wants to be pulled back to kindergarten because first grade is too hard. Can you imagine, first grade is too hard!!!! And it isn't the teachers who are doing this, it is administration, the states and the federal government who comes up with these "guidelines". ridiculous!:mad:

Lisa S

01-19-2009, 08:39 AM

I had no idea that regular grade school was so tough. Ours just doesn't operate that way. My high school aged son is getting a B average in his honor's classes without any homework at all. I know it might sound bad that I don't make him study... He could be getting A's, but I want him to have a well rounded life. He enjoys music so much and plays it every opportunity he gets. (He just had a gig last night and one of The Kingsmen sat in with them and sang Louis Louis ~ so cool!)

I can't even wrap my mind around the people in the NY Walmart. I'm scarred for life just hearing about it. I was in an Ikea right before a big sale once. I'll never go again. There was a very weird and dangerous vibe. I swear, there's nothing I want bad enough to be in that situation again.

RoseMary

01-19-2009, 09:59 AM

Lisa, I'm so glad you're satisfied with your son's B average and letting him have an interesting, well rounded life. How cool about the Kingsmen! He must have loved it!

Tanya, it is sad that first grade seems hard. Times have changed so much--and not for the better:(.

Parents, as well as the schools, put so much pressure on the kids. Public school is turning into a nightmare. I didn't know until recently, that they (at schools in my state as well as in Dallas schools) aren't even allowed to talk to each other in the cafeteria:eek:. They have to be quiet!! They are kids~what is everybody thinking:confused:??

Memmey, I know you worry about your son, but I think he will not be happy if he is forced into being someone/something that he is not. I think that true success in life is being happy~and it can't be accomplished by being untrue to yourself (himself:)) Money is not everything. (I remind myself of that a lot~especially when I wish I had some of it!)

Lisa S

01-19-2009, 10:05 AM

Totally right! I hope at the end of the day, my kids can say they tried to live up to their dreams.

Our school has that silly rule about talking when the kids are having lunch too. What's up with that? It seems like a good time to get talking out of your system before you have to become a listener again.

chyna

01-19-2009, 02:13 PM

No talking at lunch?!!! That is insane, absolutely totally insane. No wonder some of these kids can't make a real connection with other kids.

I do have an appt with my dd's teacher this week to go over the TEST to see how she is progressing and to voice my concerns over how she is doing mentally in class. The kid has a bit of a perfectionist streak, hates to disappoint others and is an all or nothing student. I asked her how she did on her spelling test the other day and she tells me not good. She missed one!!!!!!! They are learning way harder words than we did in first grade, it blows my mind to say the least. I don't even know how people can homeschool with these guidelines. Everything is the grind and not much fun and little room for that fun in learning. It makes me so sad for these kids.:(

Lynzee

01-20-2009, 03:39 AM

Our school doesn't have the no talking during lunch rule, thank goodness, but there are other rules that drive me insane. The biggest one is that children in elementary school have to wear sneakers to school. No exceptions. We live in the deep south! Sandals become standard in March/April. What a battle we had every morning during the warm months.

I am truly not adjusting well to kindergarten and it has been said that I don't play nice with other mothers. :eek: Uh, gee, could it possibly be the vast age difference? :rolleyes:

Zuzu's Garden

01-20-2009, 05:48 AM

Memmey wrote: You know I agonize about my son. I want him to succeed and in todays world it means achieve achieve achieve but he loves the outdoors and is VERY bohemian . One side of me loves that about him and one side worries. The world usually breaks the free of heart.
Do you just let the free spirits go or do you have to remind them to try to conform a little to get ahead?

Mem - Just my 2 cents, but I do not believe that the world usually breaks the free of heart. I believe that the world always breaks a heart that conforms and ignores their true calling. My advice is to love him and know that you gave him a great start. He is a young man now, finding his way. The people that succeed at a non-traditional job/lifestyle are the ones that put their all into it. Having the support of their loved ones just makes it easier for them.

Re: schools today. I'd be organizing a group and getting petitions signed. Can you think of a tougher group than united Moms?

Zu

Lisa S

01-20-2009, 06:42 AM

I'm taking a small hiatus from ruckus raising. I've got to give it a break now and then for believability.

Lynzee ~ I have a hard time believing that you don't play well with the other moms. I hear you about the age difference. I'm without a doubt, the oldest 1st grade mom. At my son's kindergarten orientation, I saw a woman and thought "Wow, finally someone my age!", only to find out that she was the grandma.

chyna

01-20-2009, 09:18 AM

Oh no Lisa! :eek: That cracks me up Lynzee that you have been told you don't play well with the other moms.

I'm telling you, running off to the mountains with my family for a few years looks better and better. :o I don't think I conform well to others rules. ;)

Lynzee

01-20-2009, 10:44 AM

LOL Believe it, Ladies! And it cracks me up, too, Chyna! :D

The first time it was said was at kindergarten orientation. The children had to make the rounds of different classrooms for a series of testing. The little one and I had been waiting for over an hour in a little alcove outside of a classroom for her speech testing. Another mother came walking up with her little girl, they squeezed into the alcove and the mother struck up a conversation with me. The whole time we were chatting, more people were arriving and trying to squeeze in, and the other mother kept moving out of the way until she'd managed to place herself and her child right next to the classroom door. When the door opened and the therapist called next, she grabbed her little one's hand and in they went! I didn't want to make a big deal out of it with all of the children present, so the little one and I waited, then we went in when they came out.

When we finished with her testing in that room, we went on to the next classroom. There was no line there, but there was another student in the room testing so we waited in the hall. Next news you know, the other mother and her little one emerge from the bathroom and are in line behind us. The mother acted like the previous incident never happened and, once again, tried to strike up a conversation with me. When I ignored her attempt to be friendly, she had the nerve to ask me if she'd said something to offend me. I said, "No, it's just that I know how the game is played now, and this time, I'm going to win." She told her little girl that maybe one day I would learn to play nice with other people. :eek: