Escr-woe

[anneandkita]

I'm so stressed out right now. I'm in love with this house but now my b/f is saying it's too small. (1000 s.f. is not too small for 2 people with 2 cats, is it?) I don't want to pressure him into buying something he'll regret, but this place is an amazing deal and the house is adorable, so at the same time I don't want to let him walk if he'll regret that!

UGH. I just feel helpless and needed to vent. I'm sorry. Anyone else with escrow stories?

[Breezy]

Anne ~ I'm sorry you're feeling that way. I don't know if this will help but when we were going to buy this house I was the one who really wanted it - dh couldn't see beyond the repairs that were needed and he thought it was too small - I finally convinced him it would work and now he's glad he listened to me (for once). We have a daughter and a cat (who thinks he's a person) and it's not crowded - this house is a little over 1100 sf. Your b/f might just be anxious about buying a house and the responsibility that goes with it regardless of square footage. It will all work out so hang in there:)

[memmey]

Now I am way older than you and I am gonna give you some " big sister" advice. Listen...If that place is meant for you it will happen and if it doesn't then that is not THE one. There are tons of houses out there TONS and the right house will be easy and with no second thoughts.
Don't worry if that is your house you will get it if not.....:) keep looking

[Lisa S]

My husband and I walked through lots of houses that I fell in love with. I knew we were never going to buy one unless he fell in love with it too. He just couldn't see potential where I could. It all worked out in the end.

Yep. 1000 square feet is big enough!

[chyna]

I don't think it is so much the footage as how that footage is laid out or used. How many homes have we all been in that just felt small yet were big yet you do into a little cottage type place and it just feels spacious. Every sq inch is generally used in those old homes, which is just something I adore about them. :)

I'll tell you what I think my house is 1900sf and at times it does feel small but that is just because of how somethings need to be set up better. And we just have too much junk. :o However we have 5 dogs, two cats, three fish, a bird, two adults and a child and it can be done.

[anneandkita]

Memmey: I just turned 34 today, so I'm not feelin' like a spring chicken. :p You're right though. I am trying to breathe deep and realize that it will happen if its meant to.

Lisa: You're both right of course. We've been looking at houses since JUNE (I've been in over 100 places). This is the first place that we both loved, hence my hopes being so high! It sounds like he's beginning to get over his jitters though, so here's hoping! It's been a LONG week while he was working through them!

Chyna: Your house sounds heavenly! I love all animals, and if I wasn't away from the house so much, I'd definitely get a dog! As soon as we settle in to the new place, I'm puttin in my fish tank again. :) Maybe I can borrow someone's dog for a while. :D

[CohenCottage]

We live in 1100 square feet with four dogs that weigh approximately 50lbs each, and we are just fine! I hope everything works out well for you!

[Gigi]

Tough one---it's what you make this house or any house a "home"~ square footage shouldn't matter as long as the house is BIG enough for you, your boyfriend & cats...

Keep us informed, but remember there are sooo many ready to be "loved" homes--- really I know that not want you want to hear. I feel for you- a BIG investment no matter which way you look at it.

[rubyslippers]

My husband, my cat, and I have lived in 1000-ish square feet in our last three places. The floor plan has been different in all three. The first was too open. There were no cozy nooks so to speak. The second one was actually very nice; however, it was an apartment (I nicknamed it my flat) and my neighbors were a little too close. Our house right now is "just right" - - with that said, I really WISH you could have been around for all of my highs and lows with the house hunting process. All I can tell you is that these women around here are smart cookies. They really helped me when things were down. I tried to talk myself into more than one thing. I went through a phase when I turned 30 that I just really wanted a house. It wasn't a societally imposed thing by any stretch of the imagination. I just personally needed to "build a nest somewhere" - - well, needless to say, my dream didn't come to fruition on "my" timeline - - but, it did work out for the best. Also, house buying is kind of scary. I didn't know about all of the stuff that went into it, personally. I thought I did, but it didn't. Anyway, there is no reason to rush in this climate because there is a ton of stuff out there. I also believe that living in a smaller space require some creativity; however, it sounds like you are just the type of person to pull it off. I hope this works out for you. (I want to see pictures of that cute little house as it becomes yours). With that said, we'll be here for you no matter what ... keep us posted. Oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY too!

[Lisa S]

Happy Birthday, Anne!

[anneandkita]

Oh gosh, thanks you two! :D

[Evelyn]

Anne, I live in a 1300 sq ft home with one husband :) and 2 cats. It works just perfect for us. I must admit, there are times when I am visiting friends who live in large, spacious homes that I think another 1000 sq ft would be fun to have. But, really, in this day and age smaller is better. The practical side is: smaller everything like mortage payment, insurance & heating bills. Then, there are also remodels and repairs to consider........less space to repair, paint etc. Less space to clean.......:)

I hope it works out for you.....keep us posted.

Evelyn

[annielinz]

Anne, happy belated!

The house I'm in is relatively small, 1450 sf. We raised our two children in this home and it was VERY cozy at times. However this wasn't my dream home by far or the area I wanted. We were two weeks from closing escrow when the sellers called and wanted out of the deal because the husband's cancer returned. We had to scamble to find a place and this home met most of my requirements. I had no idea we'd stay in this house this long.The prices started to go up, we settled in and this house became our home.
Where ever you end up, you'll make the best of it and add your personality to make it your own. Good luck to you, and keep us updated.

[chyna]

I will say though that we are looking into adding onto our house for the simple reason that the bonus room got ate up by the bathroom remodel, the laundry/pantry is cramped and just awkward and the flight pattern is messed up with the back door where it is. Not to mention the livingroom is tight too. :o We aren't going crazy though with how much more sq footage we're taking out of the backyard. really it is the space we don't use currently anyhow so we aren't losing a thing back there but will gain a family/livingroom that we can relax in without stepping over each other, free up kitchen space by re-routing the path to the back door and gain room to store kitchen stuff. A dedicated area for the washer and dryer will be nice too. :p

Mention that to your boyfriend, right now you are at a perfect size for just the 3 of you and don't discount the outdoor space or rooms. I would count that porch as a room itself. It took us nearly 2/2-1/2 yrs to find a house and I'm glad the first place fell thru because this one works far better for our "little" family. Oh and in case you haven't read all our bios or intros. I hated this house when we first drove by it. Still don't like that second storey addition from the outside but inside I loved it and saw so many possibilities.

[rubyslippers]

Our house has lots of extra square footage on the back deck/porch. Truly utilizing your outdoor spaces to create outdoor rooms is an art; I'm not sure I am anywhere close to mastering that one. With that said, those "rooms" really extend a home. Also, because we are used to electricity for 1000-ish square feet, renters insurance, and "rent" - - we are doing okay with the transition to home ownership. I would like the catastrophe maintenance nest egg to be in better shape, BUT it will happen in time. Remembering that whatever space you live in gives you "training wheels" for your house is a really good thing. Your boyfriend may like those reminders that (assuming the insulation, etc. is decent) your new bills would even possibly be less in your house.

I think Chyna and Evelyn (and well everyone) really hit the nail on the head. We don't always plan to live where we live. Also, we have all visited someone's home that is a little larger and noticed how lovely it is. With that said, in this day and age, I hope people start visiting our cottages and think, well hey - - I could live like that and be happy. Personally, my decorating style is VERY cottage. However, the deciding factor is that I want to do some more traveling in my life. I may even want to return to school. I didn't want my mortgage payment to eat EVERYTHING right now. Plus, I'm just sort of a low-key person. It doesn't mean I don't want everything to be beautiful; but, it comes in time.

Keep us posted!

[anneandkita]

Ruby: I returned to grad school after working for 10 years, I can say it was one of the greatest things I've ever done. :) It doesn't pay very well though... :D

Things are back on track so it's less woes now and back to excitement. I wish I could invite you all over for a housewarming! This place needs a lot of love, so I'll be sure to post before and in-progress pictures as we work our way through.

I love small spaces, so for me this is perfect. Hopefully my b/f will let go of some of his "treasures" so the space won't be totally full. :p If not, we'll be living in the outdoor spaces and storing his stuff on the inside! ;)

[Tulip]

I'm a little late to this discussion, but I will also add that cleaning a smaller house is heavenly!

We have two adults and two children in our 1100 sq ft. It does feel tiny with all the stuff two kids bring into the mix and we plan to expand one day, but I think if it was just my husband and I, we'd be very comfortable.

Good luck! New houses are very exciting!

[Lynzee]

I'm a little late to this also. I'm glad the two of you were able to work things out. Looking forward to the before, during and after pics!

Good luck!

[CohenCottage]

I'm so glad things are looking up for you now! My DH hated our house the first time I showed the listing to him...he said it was way too small, he hated the orange trim, and it was in the hood. Now he LOVES it. It seemed like he just needed time to warm up to the idea.

[anneandkita]

This is like the worst roller coaster ride, ever!

The bank we are buying the house from led us to believe they would be lowering the price based on the repairs that would be required. But now they're saying they won't budge on the price. My boyfriend is right NOW deciding if we're going to cancel the deal and walk, or if we're going to just accept it.
:eek:

[Lynzee]

How are you holding up, Anne? Did he make a decision?

This may not help in any way, shape or form, but buying a house is always a little crazy making. It's such a huge decision--and investment--and I think most of us always wonder if it's the right one. I know as much as I loved this little house in the woods and had to have it, when it came time to actually make the offer, I would have backed out if my husband hadn't put his foot down.

Hang in there, okay? :)

[memmey]

My X and I built a home and we were in the BIG middle of the deal and he got cold feet and wanted to cancel. He ALWAYS did that sort of thing. I cried and was worried about how far we had gotten into the process. I had picked out the wallcoverings , paint, cabinets etc. We would have lost money on the cancellation . I cried a river and was so embarrassed because one of my customers had helped us with the transaction. He relented and we built the sweetest little house. Simple and so wonderful. BUT everyday we lived there he b----ed about it. EVERDAY, it was a pattern that he had of last minute second thoughts. It was the bain of existence for years. It is not worth the grief believe me it is not worth the grief.....
By the way I am no longer married to him and life is easier and more stable. After 27 years of inconsistancy I am finally able to make firm decisions and follow through on my own. I got my power back. I have a home and it is my responsiblitly and source of great pride.

[rubyslippers]

My husband and I came very, very, VERY, close to buying a precious little Cape Cod in a town about an hour and a half from where we live now. It was truly adorable. I was devastated and confused at the time. He was wary ... I didn't know why ... then I would get really nervous ... then I would freak-out ... then I would log on to Cottage Living and talk to everyone. It was a rough window. Then, we found a true Arts & Crafts 4-Square (Chyna ... is that the right word) Bungalow. I loved that place. We were much more sure of that house. It reminds me of the thread that was running about supernatural things happening in homes. In both of those house, I felt incredibly positive "energy" - - in the Cape Cod, I could really visualize families eating Thanksgiving in that home. I also felt like I could hear children playing. That is why I liked the house; however, the work needed was more overwhelming than I understood at the time. The next home, that we almost bought, was really precious. We were just strangled by indecision. Then, the house "got away" to another family. During our hunt in that first city, at least 4 homes caused sleepless nights, numerous photos e-mailed to friends, and a great pang of loss of capturing that imagined energy for my family.

Well, later that year, the opportunity presented itself that we could move "home" again. We live in a bedroom community right outside the town I grew up in. To date, this decisions has proved itself over and over and over to be the right decision. I would never have understood at the time. I wouldn't have believed that the future before me didn't include living in one of those homes. With that said, my husband and I learned a lot about what we both wanted in a house. Looking got a lot easier. We could quickly count things out by driving by our looking on the Internet. We obsessed much less. Then, there was a rather dark period last summer. It would have been a good time to move because our lease was "up" so-to-speak and the house wasn't out there. It just couldn't be found. My emotions were all over the place. I more or less vanished from the Cottage Living community for a long time. I didn't feel like cleaning my cute little apartment. I quit doing the things that are my nature for our home - - like cooking on weekend mornings or splurging on one of those consumer bunches of flowers at the grocery store - - (those things make me so ridiculously happy).

Then, I got over myself, cleaned my apartment, concentrated on my job, made plans with friends ... etc. etc. etc. ; then, my husband and I found something we could actually afford. (We were horribly confused by how much we could afford. As I mentioned in a previous post, I "thought" I understood closing costs, but I didn't - - at all.)

So, after all of that, my request would be ... please don't leave us if it gets rough ... stay and let us help. We have been there. Plus, some of my best purchases for my now "home" were made before I ever had a home. Also, if things do work out, we will rejoice and celebrate with you sending our equivalent of cottage-smoke-signals from all over the country.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Keep your chin up.

[Lisa S]

Don't we have a community of great women here? It's threads like these that make me really wish you all lived on my street.

[anneandkita]

You all are so amazing. Thank you for your support. Eli (my b/f) is actually a very supportive and great guy, this is just the biggest purchase he's ever made and he wants to be sure he's making the right decision. And I don't know if you can ever be sure!

He still hasn't decided, so we're talking to family and friends to get some other opinions.

I totally agree Lisa, I wish we all lived on the same street!

Again, thanks so much you guys, I really love your support. And I'm sticking around even if we end up buying some cookie cutter house!

[Evelyn]

When I was looking to buy it was a roller coaster.......and I only made an offers on 2 homes!! Then I ended up buying acreage and building.

It is the most money that we spend on any single item in our entire lives!!! How could it not be stressful!!!

Evelyn

[ChapterTwo]

. After 27 years of inconsistancy I am finally able to make firm decisions and follow through on my own. I got my power back.

Ya know, Memmey...not that I have a "fella", but I have often wondered about that. It's been just the kids and me for twenty years...I don't know how difficult it would be to go back to sharing decisions on things (and possibly have someone who can't make up his mind, like your ex.)

Anyway, I admire your strength - We are "woman", hear us roar! :D


Anne -
I wish you lots of luck with the process...It's sure not easy, like buying a pair of pants and being able to return them!...a house is such a big decision, and there are so many things to weigh...I've been down this road and I empathize.

[Lisa S]

My best friend and I have re-roofed houses (well, she has!), installed drywall, renovated houses... and through it all said "I don't need no man!". Sometimes the want was another story! :)

[Lynzee]

Just checking in to see how you're doing, Anne.

And I'm sticking around even if we end up buying some cookie cutter house!

I'm so glad you feel that way! :)

And, really, a "cookie cutter house" is okay! We will give you more ideas than you'll want for one of those too! :D

TOWANDA!!!!

[Gigi]

Ditto ;) This community of friends is wonderful.
Don't we have a community of great women her? It's threads like these that make me really wish you all lived on my street.

[anneandkita]

Okay, I have to ask, What is TOWANDA? :D

[annielinz]

Did you ever see the movie Fried Green Tomatoes?

Its a scene/word from that movie. To me it means empowerment and to overcome obstacles. Just a great word and thanks Lynzee for reminding me of that movie!

[anneandkita]

I haven't seen that movie, I'll be sure to add it to my list. :)

Still no decision, at this point I just want him to decide one way or another! :p

[Evelyn]

I loved that movie!!! I've seen 'Towanda Lives' bumper stickers.........

[shabbychick]

I can totally relate to the stories in this thread. Four years ago the owners of the house I rented wanted it back so they could sell it. With very little notice, I had to start trying to buy a house that my room mate and I could both live in with her four dogs and our four cats. I looked at a lot of ugly places and finally found the perfect little old house that was full of windows, had a full laundry room, and was surrounded by a beautiful little yard. They accepted my offer, but the deal fell through because upon inspection, it turned out that there was a huge pool of water under the bathroom, and whoever had remodeled the place had made such a hash of it that the inspector couldn't even get under the house all the way to see what the problem was. They wouldn't fix the issue, and it would have been thousands more dollars I didn't have to raise the house, fix the crawlspace, and repair the leak from the bathroom after I bought it. I ended up walking away from the deal and buying a townhouse condo that I didn't really want because it was all that was available. I had to send my room mate packing because the place wasn't big enough for us and all those animals. The inside of the condo was hideous, and I hated it...the walls were baby poop brown and a strange shade of blue, and it was like living in a cave. My relatives kept saying how cute it was, but really, I just hated it, and I hated having to send my room mate away. But she ended up getting a teaching job across the country, something she couldn't have done here in my state's economy, and renting a house where she can live with her dogs. I had my walls painted a lovely shade of yellow and have since been doing more painting and decorating, and it's now a pretty cute little place. It's not perfect, and it's not a house, but it's something I can afford and personalize. Now that the economy has tanked, I'm glad I didn't buy beyond my means or get something that needed extensive repairs. I'd like to have a real cottage someday (though someday is getting pretty close since I'm in my 50s) but even if I had to live out my life in this condo, it would be okay. I guess no place is perfect. This was about the last place I could afford, and I bought when the housing market was getting really tight and there wasn't much available. Now when I see how many homes are going into foreclosure, I'm feeling pretty lucky that I've got 1200 affordable square feet in a place that I can heat and light without getting a second job. I've learned the most important lesson of all about home ownership: bloom where you are planted. I'm trying to bloom. :)

[anneandkita]

Shabby, that's such a great story, thanks for sharing it! So inspiring. :)

[Lisa S]

Bloom where you're planted ~ amen to that!

[Lynzee]

Actually, I think it was Zuzu who first used "Towanda!" on CL years ago.

"Bloom where you are planted." Amen! As a military wife who relocated every few years and lived in every kind of house there is, I am a true believer that it can be done! :)

[memmey]

Whatever the outside of your house looks like doesn't matter. Everyone wants the cozy little cottage of fairy tales but if you love the idea of cottage( homey/cozy) then make your home a place to get away from it all and comfortable for you and your family.
Now having said that, I can tell you that I see some homes in magazines that are "shabby cottage" and I would be afraid to spill or muss things up. I have some very old things that I put in a safe place but other than that you can put your feet up and occasionally spill in my house. I don't want the stylized cottage I want to LIVE here. My home is 72 years old. I has stood for all this time.
If you live in a "ranch" so what. Who is to say in about 30 more years that they are the cottages of the future. If you can afford your home and if you can maintain your home then we all have to be grateful and proud of what we have. Americans have trouble being satisfied, I know I find myself feeling that way sometimes. Am I in style, are the colors of my home right. WHAT!!! There are people on this earth starving and little animals abandon by the thousands, children that are abused daily and I am wondering if I am in style! It's embarrassing to me.
I think if you create a home with a style you love and make it a warm and friendly welcoming place for you and your family and THEN go about your life and LIVE.Don't worry if it is "right" it is right because you say so. Because YOU say so!
There are no decorating police...remember? WHU WHOOOOO

[anneandkita]

After a lot of soul searching and freaking out about the economy... we decided to go for it and get the house. :D We're aiming for a close of escrow next THURSDAY!

Now you all will get to hear me freak out about what color to use on the house and what to name it and how to refinish hard wood floors!

[memmey]

Congratulations!!!!! Good for you I know your excited. We can't wait to hear all about everything. PICTURES!!!!!!!!:D

[Gigi]

Congrats! Ohhhhh don't try to freak out---!!!! :eek: Just think of fun you are going to have making it your "home." Keep us informed (about everything :D )...

Hugs

After a lot of soul searching and freaking out about the economy... we decided to go for it and get the house. :D We're aiming for a close of escrow next THURSDAY!

Now you all will get to hear me freak out about what color to use on the house and what to name it and how to refinish hard wood floors!

[Lynzee]

YAY!!!!!!! Congratulations!!!! :D

I am so happy for you, Anne!

Let the work begin......;)

[Zuzu's Garden]

Wow! I've been away for days and am catching up with what you all have been up to. WHAT A GREAT THREAD! WHAT A GREAT GROUP!

TOWANDA!!!

:D
Zuzu

[Lisa S]

Congratulations! We're all excited for you!

[annielinz]

Anne, woohoo, congratulations! I'm so glad you came to a decision and it will be exciting to watch you transform your cottage.

[chyna]

Hey freak out away about exterior house paint. We do enjoy a challenge and telling other people what to do with their houses. Takes our minds off the fact our own houses need to be painted and we don't know what to do. Or maybe that is me. :p

Congrats on home ownership, how exciting and scary for you both but it is a good decision. It still amazes me that our rent was higher than our mortgage and taxes combined.:eek: Not sure what that says about home prices or the greed of some landlords.

[ChapterTwo]

That's GREAT news, Anne. Lots of luck! It will be a fun endeavor, and we'll be there with you every step of the way. ;)

[Breezy]

After a lot of soul searching and freaking out about the economy... we decided to go for it and get the house. :D We're aiming for a close of escrow next THURSDAY!

Now you all will get to hear me freak out about what color to use on the house and what to name it and how to refinish hard wood floors!

Anne ~ Congrats on your new home!!! What fun you'll have making it your own! Best wishes & keep us posted :)

[rubyslippers]

This is great news.

[RoseMary]

Congratulations!!!

[Lynzee]

How are you doing, Anne? Still hanging in there?

You must be getting so excited! :D

[anneandkita]

I'm excited, freaking out about the economy, making changes in my head, hyper-reading renovation blogs wondering what I've gotten myself into, trying to pick the PERFECT color for the house before I've even moved in, and generally losing my mind. :D

We signed all the loan paperwork yesterday, so now it's just hoping everything comes together in time for the close next week!!

[Lynzee]

All of the things you're doing sound pretty normal to me at this stage of the game. :)

Relax and have fun with it. It really will be a wonderful journey. And, of course, we'll be here for you every step of the way! :D

[Zuzu's Garden]

Whenever I hear the word "normal", I think of Whoopi Goldberg's quote:
“Normal is nothing more than a cycle on a washing machine”.

Lynz put it beautifully, and I can assure you that no matter how crazy it may seem, everyone really is here for you. I've leaned on them for quite awhile now, and they've held me up every step of the way. :)

Congratulations, anneandkita!

Zu

[Evelyn]

Anne, Congrats!!! From the photo you sent, I thought your new home looked charming and cozy. Let us know when you take 'possession' and we can have a cyber-house-warming!!! (haven't we done that before?:))

Evelyn

[anneandkita]

I think I jumped the gun a bit. I've been reading House Colors and umm Bungalow Colors I think it is. I found 4 examples I liked, and went out and got samples of those colors to put on the house.

Except y'know, it's not MY house yet. *sigh* So now I have 10 different colors sitting in my car and nothing to put them on. lol

[Gigi]

Ohhhhh the excitement is building upon you getting this home...

Like everyone said--lean on us...that's what is so special about this forum.

Can't wait to hear more!

P.S. Deciding colors can drive me crazy too! Hang in there.... ;)

[anneandkita]

I've taken my old photography blog and turned it into a catch-all for all things that interest me including house stuff. Since that's going to be consuming most of my life pretty soon, it'll likely turn into mostly that.

http://www.asdesigned.com/blog/

[anneandkita]

I just posted this on my blog, but I had to share with you all the latest bit of insanity.
---
So for the second time in my life, I’m being threatened with a law suit. This time is far more ludicrous than the first.

We met at the house last night to sign the final paperwork. The bank had given us an addendum that they asked us to sign. However, it had a clause on it that waived some of our statutory rights. We were uncomfortable with that, so we decided to cross that out and sign the rest of the paper.

Tonight we are picking up our keys. However, the bank we are buying the house from said that even though the house has been recorded as ours, they will sue us to get the house back if we don’t sign this addendum as is, waiving our rights.

I just want to figure out paint colors for the walls, I’m not really into this whole lawsuit business.

Maybe I’ll paint the walls Lawyer Lemon with Punitive Pumice for trim and Bureaucratic Bull Shite Brown for the wood.

[annielinz]

:p:p:p
Too funny Anne. So sorry this is not going smoothly for you but dealing with a bank owned house is going to be like riding the Big Dipper at the Boardwalk!

[Lisa S]

Anne ~ I love your sence of humor especially in the face of adversity! It sounds like the bank made a mistake and now they're covering their bums.

[Lynzee]

It sounds like the bank made a mistake and now they're covering their bums.

That's exactly what I was thinking when I read your post.

Those colors you mentioned sound perfect! :D

[Gigi]

Ummm...I don't know real estate laws, real estate clauses, etc... but it sounds like their buns are in the oven :eek: afterall---they accepted the paper-with cross out, and gave you the keys...

Best of luck! ;)